it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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