At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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