a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
