Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize