where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
