okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
