Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
