ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
