i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize