I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
