let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
