i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
