is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
