Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
birth control should be required to get into college
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Randomize
