It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
