Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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