well I can't set my house on fire every night
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
