At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
