I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
