I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
