I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
