bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
