Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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