she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
