This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
