there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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