I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
