hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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