K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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