Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
