Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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