So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
