remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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