If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
