i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
