Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
