i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
