Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
P.S. I can't hear my feet
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
