By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
