Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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