I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
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