is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i love accidental penises.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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