I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
