Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
