Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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