it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
