these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
