worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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