I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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