I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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