I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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