its not stalking. its research.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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